Just think, you will never become a man, and everyone can instantly tell you are a virgin and your hormones and desperation raging inside of you is coped with by masturbation to drawn human females. Everyone knows you are a genetic dead end, and you have failed in accomplishing both your most base desire and entire reason for being. Sexuality and affection is all your endgame goals in life are, and you will never achieve either of those.
Your brain and body need oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine and you get all of those in the most abundant and healthy way from sexual experience and romance/affection.
But you are already past the point of where your developing brain and neuroplasticity needed to experience these things, and that's something permanent and eternal. Your entire bloodline, millennia of evolution and survival of the fittest and successful reproduction ends with your life.